Stutz.

    None of the documentary's listed interested me until Stutz was mentioned. The first time that I watched it, I didn't appreciate it. I didn't understand it. I didn't grasp onto what Jonah Hill was meaning for me to. I needed to watch it a second time. This time I really listened and took it all in. I liked the fact that it was all in black and white so that the cinematography didn't take away from the message.

 

        If anything, I thought that it added to the message. 

        I am not much of a film person, let alone a documentary person. But, this film. This film resonated with me and made me feel something. It affected me like I haven't been before. The content and message of this film were something that I could relate to and take with me. This film made me feel seen and it made me feel like I wasn't alone.

        Something specific that I liked about Jonah Hill's work was that he made himself relatable. Being an A-List celebrity, it can be stigmatized that you have it all. Your life is perfect, you are living the dream. Jonah Hill showed us that being famous, having money, having everything that you might want, it doesn't guarantee happiness. He's just like anyone else.

        I think that making this film took a lot of courage and power. It is very difficult to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable. Taking on a challenge like making and directing a film that took multiple years is a hard task as it is. Making that film about your personal life and your insecurities is even harder.

        I have grown great respect for Jonah Hill as a person which is what I think he would've wanted after seeing the film. I also plan to use his tools and take his message with me. I very much enjoyed this film and would recommend it to anyone.

A Very Rough Draft

My Perfect

    I want to be perfect. I look for perfection in every single thing that I do. Athletics, academics, social situations, looks. I said the wrong thing, my hair was out of place, I missed that question on the quiz. It’s become an obsession. I’ve become infatuated with this unattainable and unreasonable version of myself that I strive to be. It consumes my everyday thoughts, but I know

    I'm not alone. Why do we strive for perfection?
One possible reason as to why we strive for perfection is the human instinct to want something that we can't have. Knowing that perfection is an impossible state to reach makes us want it even more. Which leads to another contributing factor that having a goal to reach increases motivation. Hoping to feel some sort of accomplishment after possibly achieving a version of perfection. Or maybe, us as humans simply want to be the best that we can be.

    If we are able to get to the root and reason of this nagging lust for perfection, we might be able to find perfection. Our idea of perfection. Having a concrete definition of perfection might prevent unattainability because it is a solid goal. Yet, constantly altering our versions of perfection may be the reason that we can’t seem to reach perfection. I feel like I can’t settle for one idea of perfection because it leaves room for error. What if having an unrestricted definition for perfection is exactly what we need to succeed? Perfection is a flawless state. Am I perfect? I suppose that’s up to me, or you, or anyone who believes that I fit their criteria of perfection. Deepening our thoughts on perfection could help us figure out what we are truly striving for.

Do I Know What I'm Doing?

    The micro-theme assignment was very difficult for me. How in the world was I supposed to chose only one question about a topic that I care about? There is so much wrong with the world and only focusing on one thing was a big thing to tackle. 

   
     I came up with the idea for my first draft during our free write. If you don't do it, who will? An extremely broad and open question. I struggled to write my first draft and I didn't understand why. I think that I am so used to being told exactly what to write and strictly following a rubric. I'm not used to wiggle room. I'm not used to not taking a stance on a certain issue. I'm not used to being open-ended. I enjoy knowing the facts and proving my point with specific evidence. I did not like writing and rewriting and writing again because I realized that I was being biased. I realized that my question was way too broad and wouldn't help me meet all the criteria for the assignment. 

    I scrapped the entire thing and changed my topic. Why do we strive for perfection? Not exactly controversial or a problem around the world, but it's a problem for me. I think too much about being perfect and think even more about not being perfect. I had a much easier time writing my second draft with my new and improved question. It just made more sense to me. Perfection is impossible, so why do we continue to reach for it? In my second draft I sort of solved my problem without realizing it and again, had to revise. Revise, rewrite, rewrite, revise. After all, writing is revising...

    Overall, this writing assignment was difficult. It took a lot of deep thinking and questioning and I wasn't used to doing that. It wasn't a linear experience and honestly I'm glad it wasn't. If I wasn't challenged writing about something that I care about then I would think maybe I don't  care as much as I thought I did.